Mark of the Idiot
by andalitebandit-6
Summary: Zim pranks a sleeping Dib by writing on the word "Idiot" on his forehead with an irken permanent marker. Dib decides to get even, never suspecting where the consequences of his actions would lead. ZADR
1. Chapter 1

Dib was mad. REALLY mad. While sleeping in class that morning (he'd had a _very_ tough night involving a werewolf, a church, and too many tamales) Zim had taken a permanent marker and written an irken word on his forehead. Of course, he didn't know this until MUCH later, when he saw himself in the mirror at home while brushing his teeth. It certainly explained why his fellow students had been pointing and laughing at his head (more than usual) that day. He'd tried kosher salt, hand sanitizer, rubbing alcohol, and even hair-spray, but nothing worked! Zim must have used some sort of ALIEN permanent marker! Who knew when or if it would ever come off? Nobody else could read irken, but Dib could. The word on his forehead said: IDIOT.

OOO, Dib was SO mad!

And that was why he was sneaking into Zim's base that night. Bypassing Zim's security was already second nature to him, and in no time he was already in the alien's basement, stealthily traversing through the wires on the ceiling. He soon spotted his nemesis, sleeping soundly atop some blueprints for some latest evil scheme or other, a bit of drool pooling in the center of it. On the other side, was what looked curiously like a marker... an ALIEN marker!

Dib quietly jumped down and tip-toed his way over to Zim's sleeping form. He picked up the marker, thought about it for a second, then aimed it away from himself before removing the cap, just in case it turned out to be a light saber that stabbed him through the eye or something.

It wasn't. It was just a marker, as Dib had initially suspected. He experimentally poked Zim's cheek with the butt end of it to see if he was faking being asleep or not. But the alien didn't wake up at all. He was really out cold. Grinning wickedly, Dib bent down to exert his best irken penmanship.

"... there!" Dib said triumphantly, as he put on the finishing touches. "Now we're both idiots!" Then he thought about what he said "... wait, what?"

Dib was too busy contemplated his idiocy that he didn't notice a pair of glowing blue eyes floating in the darkness just behind him until...

"Whatcha doing to my master?"

"NYAAAAAAA!" Dib jumped away and fell into a nearby control panel, landing on a lever on his way down.

Zim's chair began to emit flashing red lights and screeching sirens, "Alert! Alert! Chair ejection mode initiated!"

"...Eh?" Zim blinked his eyes open, not yet fully awake. He noticed the human sitting frozen and wide-eyed on the floor in front of him. "AAHHH! THE DIB!"

Zim's reached behind into his PAK and brought out a handheld laser, but before he could use it, the chair shot upwards, jettisoning its passenger towards a closed circular ceiling hatch that had an "Out of Service" sign on it. Zim ricocheted off and lost his grip on the gun, sending them in opposite directions: the gun skittering across the floor and the alien falling towards the Dib.

"OOF!" The boys groaned and blinked, finding that they were looking into each other's eyes... "WAAAAAAAAH!"

They pushed off each other and scooted backwards, breathing hard and staring warily. Dib's brain was working overtime, trying its best to figure a way out of this situation alive... and that's when he noticed the laser gun across the room.

Zim had been watching the boy, and noticed when his eyes darted to look at something behind him. Zim turned his head and saw what he was looking at. Zim was closer.

The two raced towards Zim's fallen weapon, the slightly taller human quickly gaining ground behind him. He was soon neck and neck with the Irken and Zim had no choice but to tackle him. They wrestled on the ground for a few desperate seconds and Zim soon found himself on his back. He worked his legs up under the human's belly and was able to frog kick him across the lab, the boy's body slamming against a wall of machinery, knocking the wind out of him.

Before he could recover, Zim spun around and reached eagerly for his laser. At the same instant that his claws closed around the handle he was able to catch his reflection in the shiny metal wall before him and the sight stopped him cold. "...WHAT?"

Dib was sitting up and rubbing the back of his head, when Zim's exclamation got his attention. He was treated to the sight of Zim vigorously rubbing at the sign he'd written on the alien's forehead and chanting a mantra of "No-no-no-no-no-".

After sitting through 3 minutes of this, Dib stood up and rushed the alien while he was distracted, the unexpected attack catching him completely off guard. The laser flew out of Zim's grasp and went skidding into the shadows again, but before Dib could go after it, he was puzzled by the realization that Zim wasn't fighting him. He looked down to see the invader staring intently at his forehead.

"What?" The boy asked self-conciously.

Zim blinked once and then refocused his gaze down towards the boy's eyes.

"You did this?"

"Did what?"

"You wrote 'IDIOT' on my forehead?"

"Yeah..." Dib said, still not seeing what the big deal was. Fair was fair. "So?"

Zim blinked at him once more and just stared without responding. Then his eyes narrowed dangerously and he blushed furiously. "You..."

Zim flipped him on his back so fast Dib didn't have a chance to react.

"HORRIBLE WORM BABY!" Zim screeched in his face, causing Dib to wince and shrink back just a bit. "Do you even _realise_ what you've done, you **filthy** dirt child?"

Without waiting for a response, Zim answered his own inquiry, "No, of course not. How could you? But ignorance is _not_ an excuse here! This is extremely serious, you stupid, stupid stink beast! Oh, I have never had a stronger urge to kill you more than I do right now!"

Dib could feel Zim's claws digging deep into his arms until he drew blood and he gasped in pain.

But Zim suddenly released him and stood, towering menacingly over the human.

"Get up!" the Irken ordered.

Dib did, ignoring the pain as he pushed himself to his feet, eyeing the alien warily.

"Take off your shirt."

Dib took a step back. "WHAT? Why?"

Zim followed him. "Do not question me! Just do it or I'll do it myself!"

Dib bit his lip and stared at the enraged Irken for a moment before starting to do as he was bid, although he wasn't sure why.

With both trenchcoat and bloody shirt on the floor, Zim approaced him, extracting a vial of something from his PAK, and tilted some of its contents into his palm.

Dib's eyes widened, but before he could run, the invader grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm towards him.

"Those puncture wounds will get infected if left untreated." He explained before rubbing the stuff over the boy's bleeding skin.

Dib sucked in his breath at the stinging iodine but offered no more resistance. Zim applied some to his other arm as well and then wrapped both in bandages, also from his PAK.

Zim looked over his work, apparently satisfied. "GIR!" he called.

The robot flew down from his viewing spot and stood at red-eyed attention before his master, offering him a sharp salute.

"Take the Dib's clothes to the decontamination unit!"

"Yes, Master!" he said, before going blue eyed and giggly. The SIR grinned at Dib as he ran past him. "Master don't like using the washing machine cuz the bubbles make him go screamy! I like bubbles!"

"By the way," Zim almost spat over his shoulder at Dib as he walked away. "You've just become the mate of the most amazing invader in the entire universe. Congratulations."

(End Chapter 1)

So, this is actually going to be a round-robin! I wrote the first chapter, and consecutive chapters are going to be written by other people o3o What happens next and where the story goes from here will surprise you as much as it will me xD


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 is written by Fortheloveofkei ^_^**

Dib Membrane didn't say anything for a long moment. He thought he'd misheard. Maybe Zim was toying with him. Maybe any moment the Irken would start laughing manically like he always did when he had made a stupid joke. Because this joke was beyond stupid. This one was a pretty sick joke if he'd ever heard one.

But then Zim didn't start laughing. He didn't even look at the human. He had stopped in front of the table he'd been sitting at, glaring at the blueprints strewn across it. The marker was obviously long forgotten now, but there was something much more important going on here, and it wasn't like Zim was enjoying it.

So it wasn't a joke.

Dib's jaw dropped open as he tried to take in what had just been said. "What... What do you mean I've become your _mate_?" he demanded, taking a step forward. He felt suddenly extremely vulnerable, standing there half naked in Zim's base, confronted with something so profound as becoming someone's mate in just an instance. "What sort of insane alien right made me your mate all of a sudden? We're enemies! You're trying to destroy the world and I'm trying to save it! I can't be your mate. What the hell are you talking about?" He was starting to panic, it was leaking into his voice. He was shouting at Zim. He didn't understand. What the hell was going on?

Zim finally spared him a glance, looking over his shoulder at the human, his red eyes narrowed in a look that screamed 'I hate you', but at the same time looked melancholy, as if he was accepting his fate. "You've become my mate, filthy human. Did you not get the memo?"

It was like his glasses fogged up as he continued to stare at Zim. Everything got blurry and out of focus. Was his face on fire? It sure felt like it was on fire. That would explain his impaired vision for sure. "I don't get it."

The Irken sighed and turned to him, crossing his arms over his chest. "Simple, stupid human scum, you and I exchanged the mating word. I wrote it on your head, you wrote it on mine."

"The word IDIOT is your mating word?!" Dib freaked out. "Are you freaking serious? How the hell was I supposed to know that?! I'm not Irken! Why would you write it on my forehead anyway? I know you like to get stupid laughs at my expense, but seriously! You didn't think I'd do the exact same thing to you? How stupid can you get?" He grabbed at his hair, pulling at it as he began to break down in a sense. "Are you insane?!" Well, that went without saying. Zim was purely insane and Dib knew that. He was a deluded alien out to destroy everything he knew and loved and he was now mated to that insane alien.

Zim stood there, taking Dib's verbal abuse, just glaring at him, as if he was watching him, gauging his reactions.

"What am I going to tell my dad? 'Oh hi dad! I just found out I'm mated to my worst enemy and the alien that's trying to destroy the planet!' HA! Wait a minute, why am I even worried about that? You have to undo this! NOW!" He pointed an angry, demanding finger at Zim. "I don't want to be your mate. And you can't want to be with me. So you put a stop to this right now! You have to have something that can get this ink off our foreheads!"

Zim, surprisingly, shook his head. He wasn't fighting this. Dib began to wonder why. Zim couldn't possibly want him. It was ZIM for Pete's sake! His sworn enemy! Planetary invader! Alien scum! He was the one that always called him names and did horrible things to him. The alien couldn't possibly want the human. But Zim wasn't fighting this. He wasn't trying to scrub the word off of his head any longer. Maybe there was nothing in this world but acid that could make the word go away. Dib started to contemplate pouring acid on his head, but quickly ruled against it. Too many complications, too much pain.

"Do you want this or something?" Dib asked, ridiculing the idea instantly. "I mean, you can't want me. You're you and I'm me. We're two polar opposites. I don't care that they say that opposites attract. I hate you! And you hate me! It's plain and simple. We can't be mates."

For once, Zim wasn't talking. He was allowing Dib to rant and rave and he wasn't saying a word. The sudden silence was unnerving the human.

"Say something you stupid alien!" he shouted, frustrated now, and angry. Oh he was so very angry. Zim had gotten him into a much bigger mess than having something stupid written on his face that nobody could read but an alien. This was all his fault.

Zim sighed again. "What do you want me to say, worm baby? That I'm in love with you and we were fated to be together? That is not the case. The amazing Zim loves no one. This is a matter of circumstance and cannot be avoided." He was acting calm, cool headed. It was like they'd switched places. Dib was the one being completely irrational and Zim was calm. This just wasn't right.

"Well, I don't want to do it! I don't want to be yours! You'll NEVER be mine!"

That seemed to irritate the Irken. "What makes you think I wanted this? I didn't want you to become my mate, stupid fleshy worm! Zim was never supposed to have a mate! Least of all a smelly human like you. Who would want an insane worm baby anyway?" He paused, as if he was going to recant everything he'd just said. But he didn't. He just glared at Dib, that same mixture of hatred and acceptance on his face again.

Dib hated that look. From this point onward, he was going to hate that look with every fiber of his being. "I don't know! Another insane human maybe? Maybe I wanted a girlfriend at some point! I don't want to be stuck with you!"

GIR returned just then, Dib's clean clothing in hand. "MASTER! They're clean!" He presented the clothing to Zim instead of Dib.

Zim turned his glare on the robot. "GIR, go make some waffles or something stupid!" He snatched the folded shirt and trench from the SIR unit and didn't make to offer them to Dib at first. Instead he held them, crumpled in his hands, as if he didn't want to give them to Dib.

"Zim, give me my clothes," the human demanded, once again noticing how naked he was and how horribly vulnerable it made him feel. His clothing was his armor and he was missing part of it.

"How about no." He set them down on the table behind him, over the blueprints. "You can have them when we're done talking, human."

Dib didn't like that one bit. He stomped over so he was standing over the shorter Irken. "Give me my clothes, Zim," he growled, his temper and anger flaring.

"I said no." Zim glared up at him. "You do as you're told, mate."

That was it. Dib was so over this. He shoved Zim. The Irken hit the table and sprawled over it. He looked actually surprised that Dib had done something to him. It was as if he expected utter obedience and acceptance from the human now that he was his mate. Dib wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He grabbed for his shirt and coat which Zim had managed to land on top of.

Zim grabbed his arms, his claws pinching at Dib's skin, threatening to pierce through. He looked angry. They were going to fight again, that much was obvious.

(End Chapter 2)

* * *

Thanks everyone for their reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 written by Prettykitty473 ^w^**

Dib tried in vain to get out of the Irken's grip. "If you don't let go of me right now, I swear…" He let the threat hang. Zim didn't comply.

"If you would just shut your noise tubes, listen to me for once in your life, let us at least reach an understanding of the situation, then I'll let you go. SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" Dib flinched slightly at the screech in his ears.

"No! I don't have to listen to the likes of _you_!" When had the Irken become so… _solid_? No matter how hard Dib pushed, the annoying alien wasn't _moving away_. But with each attempt, the proud Irken only got more pissed. Finally, he snapped.

"Computer! Tie the worm baby up- I'm tired of dealing with this!" Before Dib could even blink, the metal arms shot up towards him from all sides and restrained him, binding him to a kitchen chair.

"Let go of me!"

"If I didn't let you leave before, what makes you think I'll let you leave now." Zim's arms were crossed, a tired frown on his face. He didn't even look happy to have the upper hand.

What was going on? Dib knew the alien wasn't liking the situation- why didn't he do something about it?

"Are you ready to talk now, human?" After a moment of thinking, Dib finally nodded.

"You have two minutes to give me a good excuse, or I'm going to break out of here and turn you in." That earned him an eye roll (which was actually more noticeable than Dib would've thought, what with the whole 'solid eye color' thing and all).

"Whatever, stink-beast. Again- shut your noise tubes and listen up." Zim stopped talking. And Dib started waiting. Silence filled the room.

"So… you gonna talk, or stand there?"

"I'm trying to think of a way to explain without your _stupid_ mind getting confused! The ways of my race is far more superior, and is therefore harder for you to be able to comprehend! But no worries- I think I know where to start!" He raises a finger into the air triumphantly.

"Let's start with the PAK." At this the alien gave the human a warning glance. "I won't tell you anything that doesn't involve… this. Everything else is on a 'need to know basis' (as you humans say) and you don't need to know. That being said…"

"An Irken's PAK is one of the greatest features, something only our brilliant minds could come up with! It's almost like your puny mind. But better! Yes, far better. Anywho, it's encoded into our DNA- what it says, we do. (But don't ever think you could hack it to tell me what to do! Such orders can only come from the Control Brain, which is another superior advancement to your stupid race!) If you fail to do what the PAK tells you to, it results in death." He had been pacing across the floor, but came to a halt at the last word. He turned to Dib. "Only defects disobey the commands. And I am no defect!" He stares pointedly into the human's eyes, as if to get the point across. _Whatever you say, Zim… _

The Irken resumes his pacing. "When certain events happen, the PAK will immediately notify the Control Brain, who then decides what to d-"  
"What stuff?" Another halt.

"Huh?"

What kind of stuff?" Zim slowly narrows his eyes, but mulls over his enemy's question.

"There is no harm in me answering this- but do not make a habit of asking questions! I have no time for such bothersome curiosity!" He nods, as if reassuring himself that he is free to go on. "Whenever we grow, even a millimeter, the Control Brain gets notified. If your status gets either promoted or demoted, the Control Brain gets notified. _And_, to get straight to the point here, (the sooner the better- I want you out of my base!) whenever one gets mated to another, the Control Brain gets notified." He stops and waits for a stupid reaction. The captive didn't disappoint.

"So? What does that mean? Can't you just contact your leaders and tell them to un-mate us? Or can't your PAK tell the Control Brains that it was all a mistake? Can't you _do_ something?!"

"No! I can't- it's above our heads! Even _your_ big head! You think I can just change the fact that you got us into this? No! Now shut up- I'm not finished!" And to his surprise, he did.

"Um… yes, good! So as I was saying, the (still amazing and superior) Control Brain tells the PAK what we should do. And, when the mating word is exchange, the results are final. There is no going back to being un-mated. You can never mate with anybody else. It's suddenly your duty to protect your mate, because if something bad happens to them, you'll be affected." Zim looks away, getting a little mad again. _Why must_ I _deal with this?!_

Dib spoke up after a minute. "So… what bad stuff happens?" That earned an unamused snort from the other.

"Oh, the usual. The owner of the PAK is suddenly spiraling down into a deep depression, no longer able to be of use to the Empire out of grief over the death of their mate. And all they can think about is exacting revenge on the ones who done them wrong, and when that is fulfilled they have nothing left to do, no longer have a purpose, and so the Empire destroys them. Nothing much, really."

How long had Zim used sarcasm?

"Wait… So if I die, you eventually die? But what if it's you who kills me?"

"Then I have committed suicide." Dib let that piece of information sink in. After it sunk, he slowly smiled.

"So… you can't hurt me. But I can hurt you." Zim's face snapped forward at those words.

"Oh, I can still hurt you! As long as I don't kill you, I'll be fine. Don't think you're safe just because you're my mate!"

"Would you quit saying that?!" The smile was gone. "I still don't want to be your mate- encoded or not! Let your stupid backpack-looking thing say what it wants, but it's not me who has to go along with it! _I_ don't _have_ to act like your mate. Do me a favor and don't act like mine!" Zim growled in frustration.

"It doesn't work like that! And you're wrong- you're just as affected as I am! Since you have exchanged the word, the chemicals from the ink are now in _your_ body reacting to _your_ actions. Don't forget that you have messed with advanced technology. You honestly have no idea what you have done!"

"What do you mean there are chemicals in my body?!"

"Do you think the ink is just fading over time?" For indeed, the word IDIOT was slowly going away on their foreheads. Dib didn't notice until now.

"What is it doing to me?!" _Was the stink-beast that stupid?_

"It's altering your DNA to be compatible with mine. Duh."

"Come again?"

"It's simple. Your DNA is turning into that of an Irken's."

Dib stopped breathing.

(End Chapter 3)

Chapter 4 will be posted September 5th


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 written by me, Andalitebandit-6 ;D**

"That's all you need to know!" Zim wandered over to pick up the blueprints he'd been studying off the floor. His scuffle with the Dib had caused it to rip and smear in several places. There was also a _mysterious_ puddle of drool in the center of it. Who put that there? "Ugh... my plans for the Automated Grass-Eating Electrotracker are ruined!"

Dib sucked in a lungful of air as the moment of shock passed and he remembered to breathe. "I... I'm gonna... turn into... an alien? That doesn't make any sense! How can a stupid marker do that?"

"Don't believe me?" Zim asked casually as he tossed the blueprint into a nearby trash receptacle. "Let's see if you still think that way a week from now when you finish developing the same 'skin condition' that I have."

Dib grunted as he tried vainly to free himself from his metal restraints. "No! I refuse to let that happen! I'll find a way to stop this myself."

Zim sighed. "I'm tired of your whining, worm-baby. Computer, release him."

The arms obediently unwound themselves from Dib's fleshy skin, leaving red imprints where they had squeezed too hard. Once he was free, the human turned to sprint towards the exit, when he was overcome by a sudden loss of feeling in his legs. "What the-!"

Dib collapsed to one knee and tried to catch himself with his hands. He managed, but just barely. His arms shook and tingled in that way they do when they're about to go numb. "Wha... what's going on? Zim?!"

Dib turned his head to see the invader stumbling towards him, massaging his temples. "Ugh... it's starting," Zim reached the boy and knelt beside him. "Oh IRK my head hurts... why must I suffer?"

"ZIM! What's happening?! Are we gonna die?!" Dib was starting to hyperventilate, his eyes widening in panic.

"Not so loud," Zim whispered. "You're just making it worse... shut up a moment and hold still."

Dib made an effort to calm his breathing, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.

_Okay, Dib,_ he thought to himself, _remember what the yeti yoga master taught you... breathe in and count 1... 2... 3... breathe out. Breathe in again for 1... 2... 3... and out._

It was working. Dib was just feeling his heart rate slow down when suddenly Zim took his face in his hands, thumbs digging a little into his skin. He thought for a moment the irken was going to do some kind of weird pressure point technique, and was completely unprepared for when Zim started kissing him.

"Mmph!" Dib protested, but he was still too weak to resist, all his strength was focused on remaining upright. He was totally confused and completely helpless. The only thing he could do was endure it and pray that whatever was happening would be over quickly.

About a minute into it, he started to feel... something. A warmth like a heater blanket being laid down across his back, filtering life back into his useless limbs. His strength was returning and the tingling feeling was migrating up from his arms, traversing the nape of his neck, creeping around his jaw, and finally settled on his lips.

Zim started pulling away, and Dib noticed they were both left feeling breathless, their chests rising and falling in synchronized crescendo.

"What... _the hell_... Zim?" Dib managed to gasp between breaths.

"This... is part of... the deal," Zim explained. "We'll have to... do this... once a week... from now on... perhaps more... depending..."

"Depending on what?" Dib was breathing easier now, though he felt himself on the verge of hyperventilating again. Could this day get any worse?

Zim pushed himself off the floor and stood dizzily on his legs, reaching out to grab hold of a nearby switchboard for support. "Depending on how fast our feelings towards each other change... the mating word will be working inside both of us, trying to bring us together as fast as possible." He regarded the human with a condescending smile. "So if you're going to actively try to break our bond..."

Dib swallowed thickly. He knew what Zim meant. Their bond was like quicksand; the more he fought against it, the faster it would consume him. But he couldn't just give up! There had to be something he could do... but what?

"I'd like to spend the few days of freedom I have left _without_ having to look at your squishy face," Zim said as he pressed a button on his switchboard and the floor underneath Dib gave out. As the human fell screaming down the shaft, Dib saw his nemesis sneer down and wave at him. "Bye-bye!"

"AAAAAHHHH!" Like a roller coaster ride built by a madman, the shaft sent Dib flying through a seemingly endless series of twists, and turns, and loop-de-loops until it finally spit him out careening towards his house. He hit the ground rolling, tumbling head over heels until he crashed upside-down against his front door, nearly taking it off its hinges.

Before he had a chance to right himself, Gaz swung the door open and let him topple inside. "There's a thing called _knocking_, Dib!" she growled moodily as she stepped over him towards the couch where she left her Gameslave. "And close the door behind you!"

"Thanks, Gaz..." Dib coughed as he stood and started brushing himself off. "I'm fine by the way. Don't bother asking me if I'm okay or anything!"

"Gawd, SHUT UP!" Gaz threw a sofa cushion at his head. "I'm trying to concentrate! The boss only has one million life left and it took me a whole hour to get it down this far. If I have to start over again because of you..." she let the threat hang ominously.

Dib obediently shut the door and went wordlessly into his room. He flopped on top of his bed and closed his eyes, silently praying to whatever god, Buddha, or wish granting monkey that might be listening that when he woke up the next morning, it would've all been just a bad dream...

His arms began to tingle at the thought.

Dib cursed under his breath and hurriedly canceled his wish.

(End Chapter 4)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 is written by Doodlett :3**

Dib bore one day without Zim. Hour after hour became worse and the more he was separated from the alien, the more he started to ache for his presence. Zim didn't leave his mind for a second that day. In the beginning he thought about him because he was filled with pure hatred. He wanted to punch him in the face for ruining his life. However, later on, all his thoughts started to become less hateful, even though he refused to admit that to anyone, including himself. On the morning after spending an entire day without Zim, it hit him.

He _missed_ Zim.

Dib moaned and turned around in bed. It was 9 AM on a Saturday. His mind was filled with the alien. His body ached for him. He trembled all over and felt the urge to get up and run to Zim"s house, knock on the door, grab him and make out on the couch.

Dib chuckled. This was ridiculous. He pulled his hair in disgust and turned around once more. A few more minutes and he couldn't take it anymore.

He swallowed dryly before standing up and changing. He brushed his teeth quickly and then ran down the stairs, brushing through his hair with his hand, trying to make it look okay. He skipped breakfast and started walking towards Zim's base.  
He ended up running.

This was sick. This was so insane. He wanted nothing but Zim right now, he was trembling all over. Zim, Zim, Zim. It was all he could think about on his way to the house. The thought of seeing him made him run faster. This was so sick. Dib couldn't even stand still and ask himself why he wanted his enemy so badly right now. If he would, he could answer himself easily, anyway.

The damn.. "stuff" that was changing his DNA and his thoughts. The letters had vanished from his forehead by now, but the effects it had on his body where overwhelming. Dib hadn't felt like an alien yesterday, but he knew he was changing.

Finally, the green house came in sight. He heard someone scream out Zim's name in desperation. It took him seconds to realise that it was his own broken voice. He cursed himself and took a hold before the purple door, and his trembling hand pressed down the doorbell.

Dib fell backwards as Zim jumped on him. He screamed in surprise, but the yelp was stilled by Zim's lips almost violently closing on his. He felt his sharp claws on his shoulders and the slim legs painfully pinning him to the ground. His head hurt because it had slammed down on tiles, but Dib didn't care much.

A heavenly warmth grew from his mouth and took him over, filling him until the top of his toes. He would sigh in content, but Zim was still forcing his mouth in a kiss, nibbling on his lips and brushing his tongue over them. The weird kiss lasted for a few more, precious seconds, until Zim finally stretched out his arms.

_Smack._

Dib blinked. Zim had slapped him on his cheek. This situation was almost funny, being tackled, kissed and bitch-slapped in a row. Dib looked up at his mate.

"...What was THAT for?!" he screeched as he gave Zim a push on his chest so he could get to his feet again. The trembling, unpleasant feeling has left. He didn't miss Zim anymore, and the usual hate returned.

Zim shrugged.

"You deserved that."

"What did I do?" Dib screamed angry as Zim stood up too.

"One: you started all of this mess." Zim counted on his claws. "Two: you came back and I couldn't control myself because of that. And three: you're a terrible kisser." Zim crossed his arms and seemed satisfied.

Dib opened his mouth to say something, but something else happened instead. He showed his teeth to Zim and fussed out air between them.

He _hissed._

Dib slapped his hand in front of his mouth. He had hissed. Like an _alien_. Like Zim sometimes did. Zim had noticed it too, his eyebrow ridges rose, but he didn't seem that surprised.

This was bad. This was very very bad. Why would he hiss? This isn't a human thing to do. This was an irken thing. He was turning irken and these were the first symptoms. Dib pulled his hair.

Zim shook his head. "Pathetic human." He grabbed Dib's wrist. "Come."

Before Dib could do anything, he was pulled into the house and the door shut behind him.

"I can't believe this is happening."

Dib sat on Zim's couch, his hands in front of his face, feeling terrible. "My life is completely ruined because of this. Not only will I turn into a hideous alien, I'll also be stuck with _you_ for the rest of my life." Dib whimpered.

Zim sat down next to him. He frowned angry. "Quit crying, you little smeet. You're the luckiest human that ever existed."

Dib looked up at him in disbelief.

Zim shrugged. "Well, I mean, you're not lucky with being so ugly and having a huge head, but you're terribly lucky to be transforming into the most superior race in the entire universe. In addition, you've got the superior, amazing **_Zim _**as your mate. What more could you ask for?"

Dib wondered if Zim was trying to cheer him up. If he was, it didn't work. Dib moaned. "I'm doomed. All of my dreams are crushed to pieces."

"Don't be such a drama queen." Zim got up again.

"Why aren't you complaining, anyway?" Dib asked. "Your life is pretty ruined now, too."

Zim walked up to Dib and poked a sharp claw into his chest. "Yes, Dib-thing, this changes a lot for Zim, but instead of crying and whining I at least TRY to continue my life. Why don't you man up and do the same?"

"Because I-"

"Hellooooo, Mary!"

Dib gasped in surprise when Gir jumped onto his lap, standing on his legs and mushing his pale cheeks. "Whatcha doin' here?" he screeched.

Dib hesitated. "Nothing. I was about to leave." He shoved Gir off him and walked over to the door, earning a displeased "Aww" from the little android. Zim wouldn't let him leave and grabbed his wrist again. "You're not going anywhere."

"Excuse me?" Dib shook Zim off. "Are you going to lock me up or something?"

"Well, no," Zim said. "...maybe. Look, just stay here. Otherwise you'll return anyway. Stop wasting your time by thinking you don't need me, because if you leave now, you'll be in front of my door again in no time."

Dib's hands turned into fists. "That's not true! I can live without you!" he said angry.

"Liar. Just stay here, we'll need each other. It's just the way it is."

"Don't say things like that! I don't need you!"

Zim frowned again and sighed impatiently.

"You're staying. End of story. Soon you'll be turning irken and you'll need help with that, too."

"Help?"

"Yes, Dib. You thought transforming would be easy? Without any pain?"

"PAIN!?"

"I can help you. I'll teach you the irken ways." Zim placed his finger under his lip. "Maybe I'll have to get you a PAK. I'm not sure..." he considered.

This was going too fast. He was turning into an alien, which would be painful, apparently. What did Zim mean by _stay here_? For how long? Until he had transformed?

"What do you want me to do? Move in here or something?" he asked sarcasticly.

Zim got one of his evil smiles on his face. Dib knew that after one of those smiles, bad news would follow. And it did.

"Exactly."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 written by hazzybat *w***

"No way," Dib said. "I can't live with you! What about my dad and Gaz? They'll wonder where I am!"

Zim looked at Dib questioningly. "Dib your family never notices when you're gone. Besides-" he smirked "-you can't last two minutes without me."

Dib knew this to be true but would never admit it to the alien. "Well, you can't last two minutes without me either."

Zim growled at being reminded of his predicament. "You're staying here until…until… until however long you need to stay here for."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Can I at least go back and get a change of clothes or something?"

"Fine. I'm sure you can go back to your filthy home and get you stink-beast items without me having to hold you hand every step of the way."

Dib hurriedly made his way to the door; Zim's eyes on him the whole time.

As soon as he was out the door, he began running. No way was he going back there, he didn't care if that pen made him feel something towards the alien. He was stronger than that.

He kept running and as soon his house came into view, he forced himself to run harder. The whole time small part of his brain, (that was slowly growing larger) was screaming at him to turn around and go back to Zim.

"No!" He cursed himself and burst through the front door, rang upstairs, and took a cold shower.

He let the cool water flow over his tired muscles, trying to clear his head. "I can go without Zim, I don't need him. But he did say the transformation would be pai-AHHH!" Dib doubled over clutching his stomach.

It felt like his organs were being twisted, cut, punched and pulled out though his belly button. He screaming again and involuntarily called out for Zim.

"Damn it," he hissed out. He reached up and turned of the water, simply lying on the floor of the shower hunched in a ball and holding his gut.

His insides began to settle, but it was still sore, and the familiar feeling of wanting... no, _needing_ Zim was creeping back.

"Damn it, Zim, I do need you," Dib whimpered to himself.

He got up and ran to his room. He couldn't stand upright because waves of pain rolled over him whenever he did.

Dib dressed quickly and shoved some clothes in a bag, the longing for Zim growing stronger and stronger the whole time.

"I haven't been away from him for that long, why do I need him more?" Dib muttered to himself.

He grabbed his laptop, shoved it in his bag and ran down the stairs calling out, "SORRY, GAZ, ZIM DID SOMETHING TO ME SO NOW I'M BECOMING IRKEN AND I HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T GO TOO LONG WITHOUT KISSING HIM! BYE!"

He pulled open the front door and walked right into a pair of waiting irken lips.

His eyes grew wide in surprise but soon he moaned and closed his eyes, loving the warmth of the kiss, driving away the pain in his gut.

Subconsciously he wrapped his arms around Zim and deepened the kiss, running his tongue over Zim's bottom lip, wanting more.

Zim tried to pull away but found himself trapped in Dib's embrace. He slapped and clawed at Dib's arms in an attempt to free himself.

Dib let go and asked, "Really? You couldn't last 15 minutes without me?"

Zim growled, "Shut up, Dib-worm. From that kiss, it seem you were pretty desperate for the amazing Zim's lips, am I right?" Zim smirked.

Before Dib could huff out his comeback, Zim grabbed his collar and began dragging him to the couch. "I felt something strange earlier... I knew it had to do with you, so I came running. Did something happen?"

After a few minutes of silence, Dib told Zim of his sore stomach in the shower.

Zim's brow furrowed, "I wasn't sure what would change first, but it seem you're growing a squeedily spooch. That's a pretty big change, so you'll feel pain for a few hours, or days, or weeks." Zim smiled and glanced over at Dib's worried face.

"Weeks?" Dib's voice cracked. He quickly covered up the fear by asking, "Um, what else will change exactly?"

Zim thought about this for a bit before listing the changes. "Well, the squeedily spooch is one of the biggest changes, I'll need to give you a pak when it's done growing. Then you'll need antenna, your eye's will change, your bones will get stronger and you'll lose your hair... I think."

Dib started open mouthed at Zim. "All that?! I won't be me at all!"

They had reached the base by now and Zim opened the door, walking inside and plopping down on the couch. "Unfortunately, you will. It won't change your mind. You'll still think the same and have all your old memories."

Dib staggered inside and sat next to Zim.

Before he could ask any more questions, another wave of pain racked his abdomen. He curled up on his side, holding his stomach in a vain attempt to ease the pain.

He felt Zim's claw on his shoulder, and the Irken lips near his ear. "Zim's doesn't like to see his mate in pain. Let Zim help you."

The voice from Zim's mouth was so soft, sweet, and caring Dib had to stare up at Zim to make sure it was the same alien above him that had been insulting him moments before.

Carefully he rolled so he was looking straight up into Zim's contacts. Even if they were a fake cover for the real things, the love that was spilling from them was unmistakable.

He leaned down and pressing his lips to Dib's, this time softly and lovingly.

As soon as contact was made the pain began to subside, and Dib pressed back into the kiss.

Dib lowered his legs and pulled Zim closer to him, so the irken was lying on top of him. Dib didn't even care at that point, all he knew was that he never wanted this amazing sensation to end.

But it did, Zim pulling away first. He seemed confused as to why he was lying on the boy.

"What the hell was that?" Dib asked.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 written by ngrey651 OwO**

For what seemed to be a long time, the two sat there. Human and Irken...rival and rival. But that wasn't going to last for long, any more than the two being rivals or Dib BEING human would. Because Zim immediately realized out loud-

"I just...kissed you. Actually...genuinely...KISSED you."

"Yes. And I just kissed you back." Dib remarked, Zim rubbing his forehead temples.

"...Well, I...wow. I'm...not...quite sure what to feel."

"What do you mean?"

"...Well, er..." Zim visibly BLUSHED, a slight pinkish tinge coming to his cheeks. "I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I would...have these little daydreams about doing just that. They started about a year ago, truth be told. I'd lean in... one hand on yours, clasping it tightly, mouth slightly apart... and then-"

"This is almost too weird," Dib mumbled. "...I feel this basic physical attraction to you. I feel I can't be without you but... I'm still so **angry**." He took off his glasses and rubbed the lenses with his jacket as he shook his head back and forth.

"Wait. Why?" Zim asked, looking confused as Dib raised an eyebrow up at him.

"You kinda got me INTO this by drawing that special word on my forehead, Zim!" Dib said, pointing at his skull and rolling his eyes. "My dad expects me to take over everything he controls one day! He's gonna suddenly notice I just HAPPENED to develop the same 'skin condition' you did! He's going to want to check me out, take my temperature, have my blood drawn, look at my skin, and what he's going to SEE is that I'm clearly no longer human!"

"Well, er..." Zim hadn't thought of that.

"And when he finds that out about ME... he's going to make a beeline for you. Then we'll both be locked away and tested on for the rest of our lives," Dib muttered. "But noooo! You HAD to take away the one thing I had!"

"Hey, Zim risked much too!" Zim said, standing away from the couch and pointing at himself.

"Risked WHAT?" Dib snapped. "You're over a hundred years my senior, you've got advanced tech up the wazoo, even got a moose that can blow up people's HOUSES..."

"I know. He's amazing." Zim said blissfully. Dib nodded in agreement before waving a hand in the air.

"AND you can call up giant mech suits to be delivered to your front door! AND you have a space ship that doesn't try to commit suicide every time I go near it!"

"THE ONLY POINT OF LIVING IS DYING!" The Dib-Ship howled out from inside the garage, Gaz getting on her bike and ignoring it, shaking her head back and forth.

"All I had was defending the Earth... keeping my world safe from a selfish monster that wanted to enslave and kill my race, and... and now I'm TURNING INTO one of them," Dib muttered.

"You have **no **idea the pressure on Zim!" Zim snapped defensively as Dib rolled his eyes.

"If you really WANTED, Zim... you could always just go find another planet, couldn't you? After all, you've been here for years and you haven't succeeded. I can't go anywhere. I can't..." Dib began to tear up now, tears trickling in his eyes. "...I can't walk OUTSIDE anymore as a normal person without... I can't be HUMAN anymore. I can't be human on my own PLANET. How many worlds have your species conquered? A dozen?"

"...Eighteen."

"And you can walk around all of them looking like you really are?"

"...Look, it's not like that-"

"I've no friends. Gaz barely helps... Dad's barely THERE," Dib mumbled. "You took everything from me. I should hate you. Part of me does, anyway. But part of me wants more than that... I just... I..." He held his face in his hands. "What am I going to do?" He murmured, coughing a bit as Zim flinched.

"You have blood seeping down from your mouth, Dib."

"Didn't notice," Dib mumbled, lowering his hands and smacking his lips a bit, sighing before a knock came on the door and Gaz calmly strode in, closing it behind her.

"...That bad?" She asked, seeing the blood trickling down Dib's cheek, sighing sadly. "Oh geez. Okay, okay. Tell me the details."

"...Wait, WHY?" Dib asked, an eyebrow raised up. "Why do you even care?"

"You two are in love," she said with a calm look. "I kind of owe it to look after my own kind, y'know?"

"What-wait. WAAAAAIT." Dib's eyes widened. "Are you saying...?"

"She's a...?" Zim trailed off.

"I prefer taco to sausage, so what?" Gaz said with a shrug before walking over to Zim, grabbing him by the shirt and tugging him close. "Now you find a way to mask what Dib's becoming from dad and the world. Holograms and fake DNA to cover up what he's becoming. If I have to, I'll use your tech myself. But you make this WORK for him, and you cut out the horse hockey or I'll MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN FEET."

"She will. Tommy Chestnut found out the hard way," Dib added.

"And YOU," she told Dib. "You're a stupid annoying brother... but you're **my** brother and you need help with something that I know a lot about," She added, her tone almost becoming... _gentle_ as she sighed. "When I figured it out, I was really surprised and... I was kind of afraid. But it's 2053. People are cool with it now. My generation actually thinks it's pretty awesome. So I'm going to help you get through this so you can accept it."

"But, I can't be who I was."

"Then be someone even better," Gaz chuckled. "You being openly gay actually will win you some sympathy points with the class. Don't go wastin' em," she said. "First thing's first. I want you to acknowledge that you're gay."

"...What?"

Gaz sat down on the couch, hands in her lap as Dib wiped the blood from his chin onto his sleeve. "Say it aloud. I, Dibbun Membrane, am a homosexual. And there is nothing wrong with that."

"I... just out loud? Really?"

A nod. Dib sighed, taking a deep breath.

"...I, Dibbun Membrane, am a homosexual."

"And?"

"...And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 written by HEISMEANDIAMYOU o3o**

Dib let out a shaky heavy sigh, after his statement, looking at his clenched fists on his lap.

"So, are you better now?" Gaz said, reverting back to her monotone voice.

"I… guess?" Dib said, unsure

"GUESS?!" Gaz echoed dangerously, turning her head and squinting an eye open.

"I mean, I'm sure… I'm good! Great!" Dib said hurriedly, realizing that Gaz would take his doubt as ungratefulness.

"Good. In that case, goodbye," Gaz said, getting up from the couch.

"You're leaving?" Dib asked, turning towards her. No, he didn't want to be left alone with Zim!

"Yeah. See you on Monday," was all she said as she walked out the door a suddenly as she had come.

There was a long silence that followed the door closing. Zim and Dib locked eyes, Dib glaring, while Zim just gave him a deadpan look. The stare-off was then interrupted by a coughing fit of Dib's. He covered his mouth and, when he was done, looked at it. His eyes widened. Why was he bleeding so much? Zim noticed this as well and made a move toward him.

"Get away! I'm still mad at you!" Dib yelled.

Zim growled at him but kept advancing, swiftly jumping in the space between Dib and the back of the couch. He then took out a tentacle from his PAK and wrapped it around Dib securely, making his mate stand up.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?!" Dib asked in a rage.

"I'm taking you back to my base to fix you, Dib! Last time I checked, coughing blood was bad."

"But-" Dib started protesting.

"Do you want to DIE, Dib?! Because I sure as hell don't want to!" Zim screamed, trying to get some sense into Dib's giant head.

Dib had no response to that. Instead he quietly asked, "Can I grab my stuff?"

Zim nodded and released his hold on the teen. Afterwards, the walk to Zim's base was quiet and uncomfortable. At once point the pain became so great for Dib that Zim had to carry him the rest of the way. Dib had become unusually quiet, but Zim paid no mind to it, actually enjoying the rare occasion. He deposited Dib on the couch upon arriving, getting him to sit upright. Thankfully, Dib's pain had subsided enough for him to be able to do so. He took Dib's wrist and raised it above his head with one hand, then maneuvered the other to lift Dibs shirt exposing his torso. Dib blushed at this and started freaking out.

"Hey! W-what are you doing? Zim, let go!" Dib cried, struggling. Damn, Zim was strong. "Damn it, Zim! I said LET. ME. GO!"

Instead of answering, Zim growled again and barked, "COMPUTER! Scan the Dib's torso and tell me why he is leaking so much blood."

There was no response.

"COMPUTER!"

"I'm going," The computer groaned out before a tentacle from the ceiling came down.

Dib stopped struggling and tensed, staying still as a pink laser started to scan his midsection. The light went over his body a few times before beeping and retreating back to the ceiling.

"Subject Dib seems to be growing a squeedily spooch and it is pushing his organs and squishing them. To be more specific, his liver."

Zim took a moment to think this over. "And what part of the spooch has finished developing?"

"It appears to be taking the function of the human liver, trying to replace it."

"Alright, then," Zim said, looking down at his captive, a devilish smile spreading over his face. Dib looked up fearfully and gulped before struggling again, looking at Zim with all the hate and loathing that he could muster. Zim's expression changed to an unfamiliar one. Before Dib could make sense of it, however, he felt a sharp pinch on the back of his skull and was engulfed by darkness.

Zim laid the now limp Dib on his back, laying him fully on the couch. He then stepped back to look him once over. Zim sighed heavily. He was tired. So much had happened these last couple of days. Zim quickly pushed his thoughts aside for a moment, as he saw blood slowly coming out of Dib's mouth again. He reached behind his back to take out a bowl-like contraption out of his PAK and positioned it right were Dib's liver should be, extracted it, then called for assistance once more.

"Computer, you take Dib-sick's liver and place it in a preserving unit. Create a serum to stop all internal injuries that he may be suffering from."

The computer wordlessly complied to Zim's wishes.

As Zim waited for the serum to be completed, he couldn't help but stare at Dib's unconscious form. To Zim, Dib looked so perfect. He was certainly not a kid anymore. He was a teen… a handsome one at that. His hair had grown into a lightning bolt, his once huge head now looked almost normal for his body, since he had grown… almost. Dib now was measuring about a 5.7 in height. Zim had grown too, so they both were the exact same height actually, something that Zim was grateful for.

For some unknown reasons, in the summer of middle skool that transitioned to High skool, he went through a growth spurt. Their freshman year they were equals once again, something they hadn't been since grade skool. In fact, his growth spurt happened when he started to realize a new strange unidentifiable feeling for the Dib-beast, which was also when his fantasies began. He wondered if they had a connection somehow.

On that note, Zim couldn't help but think about the kiss that had happened a few hours ago. It had been one of his fantasies for over a year now, but it didn't feel like he thought it would and he knew why, too. It was because Dib hated his guts. Zim couldn't shake the image of the look that Dib had given him moments prior. Good thing that the computer interrupted his thoughts and distracted him once more.

"Master, here is the serum you requested," the computer said as a tile of the living room floor opened to a glowing light blue beam that held a vile with see-through vibrant yellow liquid.

Zim took it and observed it. "Computer, did you make sure that it is safe for the Dib to ingest?" he asked cautiously. He really didn't want to incur Gaz's wrath and find out how his own legs tasted. "I don't want him to get worse." The Dib-sister was terrifying, but even then Zim had to give her credit for her devious and creative mind. He just didn't like it when it was directed at him. To other people, it was fine.

"Yes, it's safe," the computer reassured him.

"Then that is all, Computer," Zim said dismissively.

"Finally," the computer grumbled.

After making sure that Dib took the medicine and that it was working properly, he tried to make him comfortable. Who knew how long he'd be out for? Zim took off his trench coat and boots, then gave him a pillow and placed a blanket over him. As he did, he wore a softened look. Dib looked so peaceful and calm. Oh, if only he could be that way around Zim, then everything would be worth it. Zim ran his hand through Dibs hair absentmindedly. He would do it to Gir sometimes, if he tucked him in, petting the little bot's antenna when he had a nightmare.

Zim sighed as he looked down to his gloved hand. He turned and looked at his reflection in the screen of the TV and frowned at what he saw. He saw himself in uniform like always but… that wasn't him anymore. He tore his gaze away and checked Dib over before going down to his underground base.

As Zim descended in the elevator, he couldn't help but replay the conversation between him and the Tallest an hour before Dib showed up.

*Flashback*

"My Tallest! To what do I owe this honor?" Zim asked respectfully and humbly.

"We believe you already know why, Zim" Red replied.

"Yeah, if you don't then you are stupider than we thought," Purple added, his mouth full of nachos.

"No, I am aware, my Tallest."

"Hey, what's wrong, Zim? You finally found someone that can stand you way the look!" Purple said, seeing how down and quiet Zim was being.

"Actually, he can't… he hates me," Zim said in a monotone voice. Red and Purple looked at each other. At first they thought of taunting the soon-to-be ex-invader, but for him to be mated to someone that hated him…

"Well, that's too bad, Zim. But there is no going back and you know it, right?" Red asked

"I know."

"Zim, you know what this means? What you have been reduced to, right? All you'll have to give up?" Purple asked

"Yes… It was all just a mistake. It just sort of happened, a stupid prank gone wrong," Zim explained with a bitter smile. He was expecting to be laughed at. He knew Red and Purple disliked him. But, none came. There was just a pause…

"Alright then, let's do this quickly," Red said, standing up straight and clearing his throat. "Invader Zim, it has come to our attention that you have been marked, and have been mated to another being-"

"Therefore, according to the law of Irk, you are -" Purple continued. As he said that, tubes came down and attached themselves to his PAK. "-hereby no longer an invader. You are now to be decommissioned."

The screen then showed Zim's status. It flashed on the screen briefly before it dissolved. Then Zim was lowered again to the ground.

"Alright Zim, I guess this is i,t then. You will have your things delivered within the next week and will be signed up for a delivery service that will stock you with goods every other month, as is protocol," Red explained. "Other than that, we will keep contact and inform you of the next steps."

"Thank you, my Tallests. You are too kind." He bowed. " It was a pleasure to have been in your services."

"You know," Purple observed with a frown, "you seem to be taking this rather well."

"It's because I have accepted it. Even I see what is inevitable," Zim said, looking up at his leaders with a sad smile. "It's okay."

"Zim, who is your new mate?" Purple asked. There was more to this, Purple reasoned. Zim was just too stubborn to be acting so calm.

"Is it that large-headed kid?" Red ventured. " The one who wants to expose you and threatened to dissect you?"

Zim nodded in response. Red and purple turned to each other with a grimacing look. That was bad. Even they wouldn't want to put Zim in such a situation, because irkens had very intense emotions. To an irken, their mate meant the world to them once they were paired. They choose nothing above their mate, and if rejected it can be emotionally devastating. But it was done, there was no choice, and if Zim was telling the truth then all they could do was feel bad for him.

It would only take one look at Zim's eyes to know, but Purple asked anyway. "You do have feelings for him… don't you?"

Zim didn't respond right away, just lowered his head. "I don't know…"

"Oh, Zim, about your SIR unit," Red remembered, trying to distract the ex-invader.

Zim snapped his head up. "Gir? Are you… taking him back?" Zim asked, his face blank.

"Actually, you can keep it. Please, it's a gift." Both Red and Purple replied together.

"Thank you for trusting me with such technology," Zim replied, a smile on his face.

"Well, that is all on the bright side. You can now live as you please. Good bye."

Then transition was cut.

*End Flashback*

Zim sat on his chair, drumming his claws on the edge of the keyboard, reminiscing the conversation in his head and mulling it over. At first he was upset, but then the more he thought of it, the more he actually warmed up to the idea. Sure, he wasn't an invader anymore and all the pain and suffering that he had to go through to get there was for nothing, BUT he could now live however he wanted. As a bonus, he could keep Gir. Though he would never admit it, he had grown attached to the little robot, as insane as he may be.

But it was rare for an irken to have a choice. When you were born/activated you reported for duty and from then on you just followed orders. Zim wasn't really good at that so… maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Over the years, every now and then, he would try a experiment on the side or do some independent research, as a break from world domination plans. Now he could do that if he wanted or nothing at all. However, even with his optimistic outlook, that still didn't change the fact that his own mate rejected him.

But, he could fix that… Yes, Zim would just have to make Dib love him! Besides, how hard could it be? Zim was already so perfect and AMAZING, it would be a synch. '_The big headed Dib-beast wont know what hit him,_' Zim thought, a smug smile appearing on his face and his finger drumming ceased. He made a mental note to come up with a battle-love plan later, but for now he needed a change of clothes. Since he wasn't an invader anymore there was really no reason to stay in uniform. New look for a new start.

"Computer!" Zim called.

*Zzzzzz* "What now?" it asked groggily, as if just being awakened.

"Zim requires a new outfit," he stated.

"What type do you want?"

Zim was about to reply, but then shut his mouth. He hadn't thought about that. What WOULD he want? He wasn't sure… he didn't even think he had a 'type' of clothing preference. Hmmm…

"Well, give me suggestions from the latest's earth styles."

The big screen was suddenly bombarded with various images of different articles of clothing.

"This might take a while," Zim sighed.

…15 minutes later…

"Hmmm, Zim likes it!" he said, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Master, there seems to be a situation in the kitchen."

"Huh?"

Dib woke up and slowly and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He became alarmed when he saw where he was, but then sighed in frustration when he remembered why he was there. Dib huffed at the thought and noticed three things: 1) He wasn't in pain anymore, 2) he felt very hungry, and 3) he had been covered by a blanket and there was a pillow on the couch. Did Zim…? Dib shook his head. Nah, Zim was incapable of such consideration or kindness.

That was when the sweet smell of syrup and melted butter hit his nose. Dib, being curious and hungry, ventured into the kitchen. Upon entering he saw an amazing sight. The table was full of waffles and toast with jelly. It looked so good, his stomach growled.

He could see Gir busy making more waffles with a concentrated look, instead of his usual goofy smile plastered face. The counter was white with flour, but all-in-all it didn't look so messy. Dib started to feel awkward just standing there, so he walked. He suddenly felt like he was being watched, the hairs of his neck sticking up. He turned.

"Nya!"

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Dib screamed as he came face-to-face with the resident floating moose. He stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and colliding with the table, sending everything on the table airborne. Some waffles stuck to the ceiling while everything else, including a piggy, got caught on the ceiling fan and splattered on everything else.

Dib winced at the mess he made. He glared at the stupid moose that scared the hell out of him. This was all it's fault. Mini-moose squeaked and farted, the power of his flatulence carrying him across the kitchen. Dib thought about chasing it when he heard a sniffle and turned to see Gir on his knees, holding a decapitated piggy in his arms. Mini-moose circled the distressed robot, but stopped when it burst into tears and wails.

"Waaaaahh, why?!" He sobbed. "I was trying so hard!"

Mini Moose turned toward Dib and got in his face, squeaking rapidly at him. Dib couldn't understand a thing and shrugged helplessly. He then had to cover his ears as the combination of Gir's wails and Mini Moose's squeaking reached ear-splitting decibels.

"I can't understand you!" Dib started to scream back as his frustration grew. "What do you want me to do?! This is _your_ fault! You're the one who-"

And that was the scene that greeted Zim as he was coming back from the depths of his lab. He took a moment to take in the sight before him and then another to calm himself. Everything was so dirty with _filth_ and _noise,_ he could just cringe.

"Hey! What's going on here?!" Zim shouted, but no one heard him. _They dare ignore me?_ Zim thought, his anger rising. "SILENCE!"

Everything stopped in that instant and they all looked at him.

"What on Irk happened here?" Zim demanded. "Who did this?" He put his hands on his hips, but only received blank looks. "Was it you, Gir?" Zim asked, the little ball of canned energy being the first one to think of whenever a catastrophe happened.

Gir was still crying, though more softly now. When Zim addressed him, he stopped crying. "Gir?" Zim repeated. The robot crushed the mangled pig against his chest, screeched, and ran off. Zim watched him leave with a weary eye, thinking -not for the first time- that something was seriously wrong with him.

Zim turned to the other two occupants in the room. He made a step for Dib but Mini-moose intervened, getting between the two and squeaking urgently. From there on Mini-moose and Zim started to argue while Dib just watched.

He wasn't really paying attention to them though, since he couldn't understand anything Mini Moose said anyway. His mind decided to take interest in Zim 's new look. The alien was wearing tight black pants and black boots with silver buckles that matched the silver irken insignia belt buckle on his spiked black belt. The belt hung loosely at his hips and was topped with a long sleeved black shirt that had thin white lines that closely resembled his old invader uniform. On top of that he was wearing a solid dark purple coat with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. To finish off the look, he wore purple fingerless gloves that were outlined with black stitching. The mild curiosity over the sudden change was overshadowed with more hormone driven thoughts. Without realizing what he was doing, Dib blushed, his mouth started to hang open, a little drool slipping out, and his eyes had become slightly glazed over.

Meanwhile, Zim continued arguing with his little minion.

"-and just when were you going to tell me about this? You really think that the Dib is more urgent?!" Zim scolded.

"Nyaa~a," the moose squeaked shamefully, then turned to Dib. "Nya, Nya."

"Don't be ridiculous," Zim retorted. "He can't hurt me or expose me without getting himself hurt too"

"Nya!"

Zim sighed in exasperation. "Look, I know you are just being protective, but trust me, I know what I am doing. Now, you help the human get cleaned while I deal with Gir. Understood?"

The moose pouted.

"Mini-moose..." Zim chided warningly.

"…nya…" it agreed, looking up with a small smile to his master. Zim turned and left, stopping only long enough to instruct his computer to clean up the mess.

After Zim was gone, all sense came back to Dib. He shook his head trying to clear the dirty thoughts that lingered in his mind. The little moose watched the human try to get off the sticky floor, just fall back down again. It laughed. The human was quite funny. Maybe he was worrying over nothing, the human and his master could settle their differences, and then master wouldn't be sad anymore or lonely.

Zim walked straight to Gir's room, a space that reassembled the living quarters of any 6 year old child's. There were little mooses and piggies littered about the floor along with colored pencils, crayons, Krazy Taco wrappers, hand-scrawled pictures, and coloring books. Zim hated going to Gir's room because it was always messy. But, the mess was not what drew Zim's attention this time. It was the wailing lump on the bed in the middle of the mess of a room that shook as it sobbed under the dark blue covers.

"Gir," Zim began, sitting down on the bed. The lump gasped and went still. Zim rolled his eyes in irritation. Gir was going to make this difficult, wasn't he? "Gir, is there something that you want to tell me?"

"...Nooooo," came the small reply.

Zim sighed. "Gir... did you hear the transmission this morning with the Tallest?" Gir gasped.

Zim was about to touch the little robot, to reassure him, when he suddenly got tackled by the sobbing little thing. Zim propped himself by the elbows and looked down at him.

"I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean to m-make a messes, but please don't send me away!" Gir wailed. "I don't wants to go back! I wants to stay with youuuuu!"

Zim touched the little robot's head. "Gir."

"I can be useful promise!"

Zim wrapped an arm around the SIR unit and sat up with the other. He shifted so that Gir was on his lap. "Gir, no one is going anywhere."

Gir sniffed and pulled back, staring up at his master, tears still in his cyan eyes. "B-but the big guys says you're not an invader no mores."

Zim made a face before answering. "Well, no, I'm not, but if you had stayed you would have heard that I can keep you."

Gir looked up, surprised. "I -I can stay?"

"Yes, you can." A wide ecstatic smile spread over Gir's face as he hugged his master tightly. Zim returned the hug, feeling a little awkward as he did.

"So, Mini-moose said you where busy in the kitchen. Why did you make so many waffles?"

Gir looked down at his lap. "Um... Master said they don't make him sick."

Zim couldn't help but give a small smile. So, Gir wanted to show Zim he could be useful, huh? The thought was almost endearing. Zim then noticed the decapitated pig in his SIR units arms. He took it and replaced it with one from the floor. The toy squeaked as Gir hugged it.

"Now go to bed, Gir. It's late and your batteries need recharging." Zim ordered, getting up. Gir got off his masters lap and into bed with his piggy, settling down. Zim was already at the threshold when Gir's voice stopped him.

"Master?"

"What?" Zim asked

"I love youuuu," Gir yawned, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Zim grinned. "Night, Gir."

As Zim stepped out of the room, he came face-to-face with a clean pajama clad Dib, Mini-moose floating behind him. Looking past Dib, he motioned the moose to go inside the room and watch over Gir.

Ignoring Dib, Zim kept walking down the hall.

"Zim?" Dib questioned.

Zim didn't look at him, just stopped and pointed to a door adjacent to Gir's. "This is the guest room. You can sleep there. It's more comfortable than the couch."

"Zim, is it true that-"

"Yes!" Zim interrupted. "It's true… I told you that if one of us is killed or hurt, the other will seek revenge to the death. The armada and empire will not employ such flight risks… So, I have been decommissioned. Congratulations, you won. Now, if you don't mind, Zim will be heading to his own quarters. It's been an exhausting day."

Dib watched him continue down the hall. He'd thought that it would feel so good to win, but now all he felt was... sadness. He recalled Zim's words earlier: 'Hey, Zim risked much too!'

"This is what he meant," Dib whispered. His concerns didn't feel so big to him. Now all he wanted to do was to do something for Zim. But what?

Nothing else major happened the rest of the weekend, except for the impromptu make out sessions, but other than that nothing much. Zim made sure to keep his distance.

...On Monday...

"If you feel so bad about it, _do_ something," Gaz grumbled as she and Dib walked down the hall toward the cafeteria.

"You don't get it. He's avoiding me," Dib argued. That morning Zim had left early for the High Skool and came to class late to avoid interactions with Dib.

"So? It's not like you respected his privacy before," Gaz pointed out, grabbing her tray while Dib followed suit.

Dib's eyes picked out the ex-invader sitting by himself, mushing up his food. Gaz followed his stare and noticed something.

"Don't look now, Dib, but I think someone's putting the moves on your boyfriend," Gaz said flatly, continuing to her usual table in the corner.

Dib looked at his sister and then back at Zim's table. Oh, no! KEEF! It appeared that Dib wasn't the only one who noticed Zim's new outfit and liked it. The ginger was chatting up the invader, not seeming to notice or care that he was being largely ignored. Dib narrowed his eyes into a deadly glare, slamming his tray as he sat down. Gaz raised an eyebrow at this, but other than that paid no mind to it. Dib kept his eyes in Zim's direction. After a while Zim dumped his tray of poked and prodded food-stuffs and headed outside, Keef following suit and still chattering away. Dib automatically went into stalker mode, skulking stealthily behind the pair. Keef kept edging closer and closer to Zim, until Dib was sending such strong waves of hatred towards the boy he was surprised he didn't spontaneously combust.

Gaz caught up with her brother, having followed when she thought things were about to get interesting.

"So, are you going to do something?" Gaz asked

Dib jumped, startled, and turned to his sister. "Gaz! Don't... be ridiculous. I'm not going to make a scene. I just-"

"What about now, Dib?" Gaz nodded at the scene behind him.

Dib turned back around, and his heart nearly stopped.

There was Keef, forcing a kiss on Zim... On HIS ZIM! Something in Dib snapped at the sight and he did the only thing he could think of. Dib ran to them and turned Keef around.

"Oh, Hey," Keef greeted.

{PUNCH}

Zim watched with wide eyes from where he stood. Dib's fists were shaking at his sides in barely restrained anger, standing over an unconscious Keef.

"Don't you dare ever... touch MY Zim again!" Dib hissed.

Zim couldn't believe what he had just seen, much less what he had heard. He only could think one thing at the moment: Dib cared for Zim... he was starting to be accepted. Someone worried over Zim's well being, for the first time in his life, someone found Zim to be something worth protecting. Zim, despite himself, couldn't help the feeling of warmth that spread over him. Without thinking, Zim stepped behind Dib and wrapped his arms around him, letting a sweet smile grace his lips.

Quietly he murmured, "Thanks, Dib."

Dib tensed at the touch, realizing what he'd just done. He took a deep breath, forcing his muscles to relax. He then wordlessly took one of Zim's hands and took him away from the scene. Zim didn't say anything either, he just followed as Dib took them off skool grounds and in the direction of his base. Gaz smiled smugly as she watched the two leave, thinking to herself, 'Way to go, big brother.'

When they reached the base, Dib closed the door behind them in a huff and turned to Zim.

"Are you hurt?" was the first question that came to mind.

Zim shook his head 'no'.

"I'm sorry I... I should have I... I mean, I wish..." Dib stated to babble like and idiot.

"You talk to much," Zim said, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry, Zim, it's just tha-"

Zim kissed him. Dib was surprised at first but then started to respond to the kiss. It slowly got hotter and more intense. At some point they had moved to the couch. Zim tried a little experiment by taking his tongue and wrapping it around Dib's. That moved earned him a deep moan, making Dib want to deepen the kiss even more. Dib took his own initiative and slipped his hand under the aliens shirt, grazing his soft skin. Zim moaned deeply into the kiss causing him to tug on Dib's tongue.

"Puurrrr…"

Both separated at the bizarre sound. Dib covered his mouth, looking slightly frightened, while Zim looked amused.

"Did I just...?"

"Yes, you did, Dib-thing," Zim replied. "Let's see what other sounds we can get out of you." Dib's face became bright red, but he didn't protest.

Zim smiled as he went for another kiss. Maybe this whole mess was worth it after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 written by ZimXDib =^w^=**

While his body was blissfully happy kissing Zim, Dib's mind nagged at him. Did he really want his first time to be with someone he didn't even love? Because he was forced to? Because he was marked with a stupid word? The thoughts caused a dull pain to rip through him and he kissed Zim harder to make it go away.

"Z-Zim… I-I-I'm not so sure about this… W-why don't we just wait? I-I mean… it's not like we need to rush these sort of things!" Now that Zim was on top of him, their bodies flushed, and with only three articles of clothing between them, it seemed too serious. Dib was_ scared_. Not of Zim, but that after they had crossed this line, there was no turning back. Dib feared he might get hooked, and there would be no leaving the bedroom for weeks on end. What if he got pregnant? Yeah, they were both male, but he still hadn't figured out how irkens reproduced... and if something as innocuous as writing a stupid word on your forehead meant you were mated to that person AND would start changing to match their species, who knew what else could happen?

Zim was torn. Part of him wanted to ignore whatever came out of the human's mouth and keep going, while the other part couldn't help but notice his mate's distress and wanted to alleviate it.

"Of... course..." Zim forced the words out. "If the Dib-worm wishes it... then Zim can wait." He ran his hand through Dib's hair and tried to smile. Zim slid off of him and crossed his arms over his chest to hide that they were shaking. "So... what now?"

Dib rose to sit beside him. "Ummm... why don't we try… dating first? I mean, we really don't have to. It's not like we're…" _Together_ was the word he was going to use. But they were. They were physically and mentally joined together. For eternity. Or until one of them died. That was facts. Whether Dib liked it or not, he was gradually being forced to love Zim. Though as time went on, less and less force was needed to get him to go along with it. Dib could think of a million people who would be worse to be bonded with. Despite the yelling, the tantrums, the ego, and the sadistic ways, Zim was probably the best- and most interesting- person Dib would have ever hoped to fall in love with. Was this love though?

"Yeah. Lets go." Dib grabbed Zim's hand and led him to the door. "Come on, I know this great sweet shop in town. You'll love it."

"That door leads to the bedroom," Zim smiled bemusedly at him.

Dib spun on his heels, dragging Zim behind him towards the exit. "So yeah, you'll love it," he continued talking as if that embarrassing moment hadn't happened. "There's no meat or water at this place, just different fruits, candy, juice, and muffins. There's a few sour stuff too, depending on if you want to take the challenge."

Zim thought it over. "Let us do this challenge!" he shouted as he followed Dib out the door and down the street.

"Uh... sure," Dib laughed. "I've never done it before, but I've seen it done. It gets pretty intense."

Soon, they came upon a cupcake shaped restaurant. Dib went up to the cashier. She had pink hair in an updo-swirl like soft served ice-cream, donned with a lollipop tied with a bow. Her dress was white with pink stripes and rainbow ruffles trimming the edges. She had a huge smile that looked like it was surgically plastered on her face.

Dib smiled politely back at her. "We'd like to take the Ultimate Sour Challenge, please."

"Sit down right here and I'll get you each a plate!" She gushed, rushing them down to a table. "ATOMIC CRAWLERS ON THE DOUBLE!" she screeched over her shoulder. Two plates of what appeared to be radioactive gummy worms flew out of the back room towards their table, and the woman caught one deftly in her hand, the other on the heel of her pink sequined shoe. She deposited one in front of each diner. "You have thirty minutes to eat all fifty of them. Time starts now!"

Zim eyed his plate with deep suspicion, silently questioning it's edibility. Dib looked at Zim and smirked. "Good luck." He picked up one and dropped it into his mouth. His eyes instantly watered from the sourness. Despite his boasting, Dib wasn't much of a sour guy. Since Dib didn't die or turn into a mutant slug, Zim decided to dive in. The first one made his face pucker so much the alien thought for sure his head might collapse in on itself. But he was an invader! No stupid plate of earth worms with an unhealthy green glow to them was going to best him! As soon as he could pry his jaw open again, he consumed another.

Not wanting Zim to outshine him, Dib started tossing two into his mouth at a time. Zim was gripping the table tightly, pecking apart his plate like a deranged chicken. Dib started swallowing them whole, trying to ignore the horribly sour scraping the sugar crystals coating the gummies did on the way down his throat. At some point, all Dib could taste was pain. He wanted badly to just throw the challenge and just let Zim have the glory... but he wouldn't. This had been his idea. How would it look to his mate if he was so weak? He had to at least finish!

The invader was in tears, too blind to even know how many worms were left on his plate. They seemed endless. But he had to finish. His mouth was raw. You could detonate a bomb between his molars and Zim wouldn't know it. He pounded the table with his fists, sweat pouring down his face. Whoever made these stupid contest was gonna PAY.

"Gonna quit, Space Boy?"

Zim tried to blink away the moisture trying to drown him and focus on the one issuing the challenge. "Not even in your dreams, Worm Baby!"

Dib smirked, feeling affection in his nickname now.

Their plates were nearly finished. Just before the timer went off, they simultaneously consumed their last worms, pumping their fists in the air in triumph. Amid the cheers and joyous shouts of the audience, the pair ran off towards the refreshment counter. Dib grabbed a nozzle and started to fill his mouth with cold whip cream while Zim washed down the remaining sour crystals with the soda nozzle. Dib gulped down his mess and sighed, feeling a lot better.

Zim was so dizzy with relief he barely noticed as he and his mate were grabbed and led to a wall where they got their picture taken with a trophy. When the room finally stopped spinning, Zim noticed he was staring at picture of their triumph hanging on a wall of the sweet's shop, along with past winners. Dib was beside him, leaning into him for support. "Are you having fun, Dib-smell?"

Dib managed a nod. "Yeah, I actually am… this was… the most _horrible _experience of my life... but I had fun."

They went back to their table, where two slices of victory cake was waiting for them, though neither had the stomach for it. They sat down and picked at it, then Dib decided to bring up the subject that had been bothering so much earlier. "Hey, Zim... how do irkens..." he swallowed thickly. "How do irkens reproduce?"

Zim cocked an eyebrow at the seemingly random question. "Well, we're created in tubes. When a smeet is fully developed, a mechanical arm will remove it and attach a PAK to its back, using a zap of electricity to come wake it up. Why do you ask?"

Dib sank back into his chair and sighed with obvious relief. "MAN, that's good! I was worried I might end up having alien babies bursting out of my chest once we ended up... you know. I mean, I love you and all, but I'm still REALLY glad neither of us are gonna be a father anytime soon."

Zim pushed his plate to the side and learned in towards him. "Did you just say... that you love me?"

Dib shot himself upright. "Oh… uh… I think I did." He blinked incredulously across the table. "I think I _do_..."

Zim smiled. The Tallest were wrong. The Dib _could_ possess love for him. "I love you too, Dib-sme… Dib."

Dib's heart was beating in his ears. "Heh... I guess it makes sense, in a twisted sort of way. After all-"

"We've been obsessed with each other since we met." They said in unison.

The two laughed at how in sync they were now. They stood, leaving the remains of their mutilated cakes on the table. Dib paid at the counter and gave the cashier a generous tip. She laughed uproariously and plucked the lollipop decoration from her hair, handing it to the brunette. "Thanks for your patronage!" she said in a sing-song voice. "We hope to see you again soon!"

As they turned to leave, Zim muttered under his breath, "Never again."

Dib grinned, taking a lick of the lolli he held in one hand and reaching for Zim's hand with the other. "You said it, Space Boy."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 written by Dragongirl617 =D**

**(WARNING! This chapter has hawt human/irken smex in it!)**

In order to keep the story at a mild rating, the sexy part is posted at deviantart under Dragongirl617's account as ZADR Round Robin, Chapter 10


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